Nancy Umeh and her husband waited for eight years.
They wanted a child, they tried for a child, they prayed for a child. But what was meant to be a path into fatherhood turned into a spiral of heartache.
Moments of hope, then miscarriages. Medical consultations resulted in treatments. Treatments prompted further inquiries.
And after years of seeking answers, they found a reality they never thought they would have to consider, Channels TV says.
We tried for eight years, we’d lost all hope.” We began to try and we found out there was something wrong.
Soon after, miscarriages started happening. It was the miscarriages that eventually lead us to numerous rounds of IVF and then, finally, surrogacy when we found out it was my uterus that wouldn’t hold the baby,” she said.
Umeh found surrogacy to be the way ahead after years of infertility, many pregnancy losses and failed fertility treatments. Her tale is one of many Nigerians who are increasingly resorting to surrogacy to find solutions to infertility and other reproductive difficulties.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) estimates that worldwide one in six persons may experience infertility at some time in their reproductive lives. This is an issue many Nigerians face, and there is growing interest in alternate family-building choices such as surrogacy.
Infertility, social pressure to have children and the increasing demand among married couples and single parents are bringing surrogacy as an alternate route to parenthood in Nigeria.
The Secret World
What is Surrogacy? Surrogacy is an agreement in which a woman, the surrogate mother, agrees to bear a child for another person or couple who cannot conceive or carry a pregnancy to term. The kid is given to the intended parents after the delivery.
Fertility experts and reproductive health societies believe surrogacy is gaining in popularity across West Africa, including Nigeria, while statistics on the practice is still limited. But much of the industry occurs behind the scenes and is largely under-reported.
Surrogacy is not the same as an egg donation, noted Abiola Adewusi, a medical sonographer with over 20 years of experience in clinical fertility management. She said a doctor advising a patient who’s battling infertility to utilize a donor does not mean the donor is giving up all her eggs.
“If a patient comes with infertility and the doctor recommends a donor, it doesn’t mean we are harvesting all the donor’s eggs and leaving her with none for her own future use,” Adewusi said.
For many, surrogacy remains a completely invisible practice. But behind every arrangement are intended parents who yearn for a child, medical professionals who guide the procedure, and women ready to carry pregnancies on behalf of others.
For Umeh, the years of trying were marked by tenacity and a relentless hunt for answers.
The process included several attempts to improve the chances of carrying a baby to term, including medical treatments and lifestyle adjustments, she said.
“Then I would do different procedures. I would undergo acupuncture, adjust my diet, eat no fish one month and no meat the next, just thinking it would cure my uterus. But it did not. “We knew at some point we had to go to a surrogate,” she continued.
Behind every surrogacy journey, there is not just science and medical intervention, but also the women who choose to bear pregnancies for others.
One surrogate who talked to our correspondent on condition of anonymity said the decision was a very personal one, based on compassion for couples trying to conceive.
“My motivation to be a surrogate is that I feel like helping couples who don’t have children because I know what they go through. “I just wanted to help them, bring that joy to their home, and let them feel the happiness of having a child,” she added.
Her statements expose a lesser-known side of surrogacy that rarely reaches public debate: the women who willingly choose to empower others to become parents.
Myths Vs True Story
Surrogacy is still alien to many Nigerians and is often misinterpreted.
Adewusi stated surrogacy is a medically directed and not a technique that may be done on mere personal preference.
“It’s a medical condition and it has to be diagnosed by a professional to say, yeah, you’re qualified to use a surrogate. “You can’t just wake up and go ‘oh, I’m too posh to push, I don’t want to get a baby bump’,” the medical sonographer remarked.
She also tackled the myths around the practice, including the myth that surrogacy entails the theft of a kid from another mother.
“It is unacceptable under the auspices of AFRH. The misperception is that you’re taking the surrogate’s kid and giving it to somebody else. “This is not some baby-making factory,” she remarked.
“Surrogacy,” she said, “is a medical process that uses assisted reproductive technology to fertilise the eggs and sperm of the intended parents in a laboratory and then transfer the embryo created to the surrogate.
“So we are using the eggs and sperm of the patients, the intended parents, and fertilising them in the lab, and putting the developed embryo into the surrogate so she can incubate and carry the baby,” she added.
Adewusi stated that the cost of the process is usually between ₦18 million and ₦20 million on average, with a large chunk of the payment going to the surrogate as part of her welfare and compensation.
“On the average, I will say surrogacy will cost between ₦18 million to ₦20 million. And the surrogate would of course get a piece of that money as part of her welfare,” she said.
Experts claim the process is overseen by medical evaluation and professional oversight. But despite increased understanding, misconceptions still influence the public view.
Faith and Fertility: Taboo or Allowed?
The religious views on surrogacy in Nigeria remain polarized and different interpretations influence the perception of the practice among the faith groups.
Rt. Rev. Stephen Adegbite, Chairman of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), Lagos State branch, said the Church should be open to assisting the process, especially for couples battling with infertility.
“The Church is in agreement with anything that will make people happy. And if surrogacy is the way out, we should promote that. “For somebody not to have a child for 10 years, 20 years, 25 years, you may not understand fully what they are going through,” Adegbite added.
But opinions in the Islamic community are divided.
Fajana Aqib, a member of The Muslim Congress of Nigeria, declared that surrogacy is not recommended in Islam, saying it is against religious principles.
“It’s like giving a womb. In Islam, it’s strongly haram. Islam does not promote such. Islam does not endorse it. If the baby grows up then who is the real mother of the baby? “Islam is more pro-adoption,” remarked Aqib.
Experts believe surrogacy is frequently an emotional journey, one of hope, sacrifice and often social censure.
Dr. Maymunah Kadiri, a psychiatrist, said that in a country like Nigeria, surrogacy might be faced with misunderstanding and judgment and that can damage the intended parents and also those engaged in the process.
“Like in Nigeria, surrogacy can bring whispers, questions like, ‘how can she carry another person’s child?’ or ‘she sold her womb’. Some women also worry that they will not bond with the baby, as they did not carry the pregnancy. “Fathers, on the other hand, may struggle to be emotionally present throughout the process,” she noted.
The emotional toll, specialists say, is more than the medical process, touching on relationships, identity and how society regards both intended parents and surrogate moms.
Legal Gray Areas
Lawmakers said they are working on establishing a clear legislative framework to regulate the practice as more Nigerians seek surrogacy in their quest for parenthood.
In Nigeria, surrogacy is not governed by any clear legal framework. This has created ethical issues about the possibility of exploitation, especially of women and girls from low-income communities. This is not the case in places like South Africa where surrogacy is regulated by law.
Amos Magaji, Chairman, House Committee on Health Services, said the measure legalizing surrogacy was not yet a law but was under consideration by the National Assembly.
Yes, you can use the South African law as a standard. But we have to take into consideration our culture, and other aspects in our environment, in making our legislation.
“Right now, we have a bill that has had a public hearing. “When we get back very shortly the bill will be put in the House. Then we will go to the third reading, and there will be an in-house debate,” he said.
Legal practitioner Lekan Ayinla, on his part, said there is no clear legislation, which creates ambiguity around surrogacy agreements in Nigeria.
“There is no specific law or rule that says a surrogacy contract is illegal. At the same time, there is no enabling statute to guarantee any legal redress from that kind of arrangement,” he said.
As surrogacy becomes more popular among Nigerians who want to realize their dream of parenting, politicians say they are working to provide a legislative framework to govern the practice.
Until that day, intended parents and surrogate mothers continue to navigate a process defined by hope, medical intervention, faith, societal perception and legal uncertainty.
But for people like Nancy Umeh, the surrogacy saga begins far before laws and public debates. It begins with years of trying, years of loss and the will to keep looking for a way forward.
And for the ladies that have elected to carry pregnancies for others, it is an opportunity to bring joy to homes that have long been waiting for the delight of a child.
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